my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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