Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
