after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize