"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
