did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize