My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
