in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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