Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
