We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
