I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
