8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
