He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
