I would go down on you faster than GM stock
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize