I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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