Just fell off a train. Bad.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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