Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She announced her abortion via fbk
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
