My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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