Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
