There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
