I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize