If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
