Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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