I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
