If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize