Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
