You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
