Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
