There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize