I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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