why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
