She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
