You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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