i would punch a child for taco bell
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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