suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
