the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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