her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
