It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
