the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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