The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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