Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize