didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
