I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
her vagine was all disorganized.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
