We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize