I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
this boner is exhausting
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
