i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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