Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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