Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
