remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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