she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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