Kiss
Puke
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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