Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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