We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
