life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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