I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
