Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
