I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
