so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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