The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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