Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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