In the future we'll all be gay
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
