all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
