Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
