this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
