remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Bring me that man meat
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
