He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
