Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm like, not good at living.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
