OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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