i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
