If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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