I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
