sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
