laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this just has baby written all over it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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