that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
