Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
