I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
