Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She's the barista slut.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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