Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
