I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've blown a few things in my day
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
